Old and New

"You can not change the past, but, your future is spotless!" RevRunWisdom
I love this man, its like the biggest incentive not to mess up and to learn from your mistakes. Me, like most, have done some things that we aren't so proud of...and even wish we could forget. But that doesn't happen. No matter how much you drink, how many blunts you blaze, how much sex you have, or any other unhealty outlet of pain you might be into, you can never change what happened. So what do you do? Learn, remember what you did and stay away from that. I wish I listened a little closer to my own advice...but yea

Not so long ago, I was faced with a decision to do something I knew I shouldn't. Something I had done in my past and regreted. Temptation is so hard to ignore...and honestly I dont know how I held. I guess I am way stronger then I once thought (only if I was a better planner). I put myself in a bad situation and wanted someone to save me...bad idea. I am a believer in God, and I know he gives us chances...but after all that has happened I think I'm wearing mine out. I can't keep being the helpless child, I am (suppose to be) an adult and I realize that they mess up too but they work to stay out of trouble (I say that with no pride). Trouble follows me like a stray puppy, and catches up like a lion on the hunt. All I can do now is think and play smart(ter).

God, I know what you want...but give me time, please. I'm not ready for what you have for me yet. Build me up so I can be what you want. I'm scared and you know that, but fear, as well as pain, should never stop you from doing you job. (MSgt Webster)

Post Birthday and Cool Clock

Well yesterday was my birthday. Big 20, no longer a teen. I thank everyone who wished me a good one =] love love love. Today is my friend Sam's birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLD MAN! (Hope he reads this) I like my birthday placement. Lil Cuzz was 21st I'm 22 and Sam 23. It’s like the pre party, real thing, and the after joint. Yea I think of things like that lol. Anywho, now that the celebration is over (well on hold till the weekend woot woot) all I have is left over cake and a want to blog.

Today I found something cool online that I want to share. Ladies and Gentleman...the Clock Clock http://mydeco.com/rooms/detail/clock-clock-420965/

Would be something in my dream home. TTY laters

The Intro

Purpose: To get some ideas out. I have crazy brain purges some days and just want to write about things.
Inspirations: Music, life, things and stuff
Why I'm making an intro: Thought it would be cool (changing my mind about that but there is no going back now)
Well I guess I started a blog, let’s see how this goes.

Shout out to my bestie Jas and cuzzo Rai. You two should be honored ha.
Anyway, so I’m talking to Jas earlier and we bring up the subject of “what do you have a passion for?” I actually felt bad when I couldn’t come up with an answer right off hand; I had to think about this. So I’m sitting there listening to iTunes and it becomes obvious: music. To anyone who doesn’t know me I will admit that I can’t sing a note, rap a line, write a song, play and instrument, or make a beat to save my life. I can write ABOUT music but I can’t write it myself. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that I love the feeling or emotion behind the music better than anything else. Beats are good, lyrics can be amazing, but if you don’t rap/sing from some place that really matters then those lyrics are just words, and I can find that anywhere . I love honesty, in both my music and people. I won’t lie and say that I don’t have my guilty booty shaking songs and meaningless pop songs that I love to hear in the club or in my room when I’m cleaning but that’s not what I really admire about music. I enjoy it, kind of like how guys enjoy hand jobs but sex is way better (sorry first thing that came to mind). FYI I’m sort of a “writer” and music kind of puts me in a mood to write some days (could be an entire song, a line, or just an emotion behind it) I wrote this on the 11th, had a bit of a block.

I need a song
One filled with emotion
That wakes my soul from a place inside and makes me listen
My ears like what’s that?
My heart like I feel it!
Something honest
Pain like Kanye gave in 808
Break my heart baby
That’s what I want
Prove to yourself that you feel
If you belive it I can too
I want to hear the tears fall on the track
The sincerity in your voice
My greatest inspiration is me
But can you help?
I need that shock or twinge of pain or love
Hurt me, hurt my soul
Make me cry and know you
Pull my strings and be my puppet master
Do with me what you please
But do something…please
Don’t fake and front
Fuck fucking and cars and hos for a moment
Get in your feelings
Dive in and swim
Get out the kiddy pool
Shallow water knows no risk
Don’t let your ego keep you there
Be a human
Broken and deformed
Scarred from beatings and torn by the world
Make me feel baby
Give it to me real